My Word for 2020
At the end of 2019, I couldn’t get the word restore out of my head. I wanted to claim that 2020 would be the year of restoration for all the hardship, health challenges, etc. that has hovered over our family in the last few years.
As New Years approached I started thinking of the word renew. Because I’m a nerd and an Enneagram 3 who has to know I’m making the best possible decision, I looked up the Hebrew meanings of these words and how they were used in the Bible. I looked up definitions and different contexts. Then I did the only natural thing and did an Instagram poll.
After seeing the poll, one of my dear friends sent me a text message that shifted my whole perspective.
She said that when she worked at an insurance agency people renewed their policies. They kept the same coverage as the year before, maybe added things here and they but kept going with what they established already.
She then went on to be incredibly kind and remind me of all the growth that I had in 2019 and pointed out that the way I’ve been doing life is intentional, beautiful and encouraging. Besides being beyond the point of tears, it was the sweetest nudge towards renew, to keep on with how I’ve been doing life and add to that.
A few days later I ended up in the hospital again, and it felt like neither restoration or renewal. I’ve spent most of 2020 so far in bed, or not feeling 100%, or at doctor’s appointments, or on the phone making doctors appointments and if I’m honest it’s incredibly defeating.
That’s the thing though when it’s hardest to keep trying, or to get back up, or to keep advocating for yourself or your health, that’s when you need the perspective shift.
The shift to not think of all that you haven’t done, or how far you haven’t come, or how far you have to go. The shift to be gentle and gracious with yourself, to remind yourself of how far you’ve come, and to remember that even in the waiting you’re doing important work.
So if you need a 2020 redo I’m right there with you, and we can keep trying, keep showing up, keep adding to all of the wonderful things we’ve already done together.
