_________ is the thief of joy: comparison

Since I broke my ankle I feel like time has stood still. I feel like it's still the middle of March and I have all the days and plans ahead of me that I did before. Except we all know that isn't true and it's the beginning of May.I have had more time to think than I would like and I told someone recently that in this quiet that I have been forced into, the Lord is teaching me so much and detoxing my heart. That's the only way I can describe it. It's painful, ugly, and at the same time beautiful and freeing.I'm wired, or have wired myself to compare. Everything. All the time. It's the first thing, or a close second that runs through my head when I see something. That was painful to type, but it's true.I am an encourager by nature and love to celebrate other people's successes and accomplishments, so for me, this isn't rooted in not wanting good for or being able to cheer on other people.I want every situation, thing, project, sentence, whatever to be the best that I put so much thought and effort into seeing how other people have done it well that I become paralyzed. I don't "just start" anything and as I'm dwelling on how to do something I get lost in comparison. It's rooted in perfectionism, I'm certain, however it's deeper than that.The truth is, it's about me and my and mine never being enough. Instead of feeling confident about who I am, or what I can do or what I have, I constantly believe the lies of "less than" and "not _____ enough." Fill in the blank with good, pretty, thin, smart, funny, etc. And fill in after "enough" with as a wife, a mama, a friend, a PhD student, an employee, an entrepreneur, a writer, whatever. It's crippling, and its intertwined so deep in my thoughts and beliefs about myself.While I would  much prefer analyzing what got me to this point, or why I process everything through this lens, I know the truth. IT. HAS. TO. STOP.I saw a video with Jess Connolly recently (who wrote Wild and Free which releases tomorrow!!!) that said that she had to come to a point where she had to take herself out of the running to fight comparison. Those words have rung true with me. Right now, I don't need to focus on being the best, the smartest, the most accomplished, the most successful. As a perfectionist and someone working in academia and trying to start my own business this seems like an odd time to make this declaration but it's true.It doesn't mean I'm not going to work the hardest I can, but it means that right now me not comparing is more important than me succeeding. I love the expression STAY IN YOUR LANE. I think competition has it's place and we all need other people to spur us on, but when we are in a season of comparison detox it's more important to focus on your story that someone else's.Social Media is the poison to my personal struggle with comparison, as I know it is for many people. I could write about this ad nauseam, but I think how to deal with the struggle, and the lens you should have before looking at anything online is summed up in two quotes--Don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel.Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle. I don't know who said those originally but they are wise. And it boils down to the first two words-- don't compare.Don't compare your season in life, or your education, or your parenting style, or your house, or the pace of your career. It's obviously easier said than done, and my comparison detox includes stopping it the second it creeps in.I think the best way to not compare it to fight it with it's anecdote, which is joy, but also a whole lot of grace and gratitude. I want to model this not only for myself but to cultivate these anecdotes in our home for my darlins.If you struggle with this I hope this encourages you that you're not alone, that there is an alternative, and that you are enough.